


Gripped You Tight

by FKAErinElric



Series: Cas and Dean a love story [35]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Season 15 Episode 18, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FKAErinElric/pseuds/FKAErinElric
Summary: The battle against Chuck is over, everyone has returned who was gone... everyone but Castiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy
Series: Cas and Dean a love story [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1261232
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	Gripped You Tight

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for season 15.
> 
> I can't believe Desitel went canon. That uh, that caught me off guard. Now I am in the belief that Dean will rescue Castiel but after seeing the episode my brain really wanted me to write about it. So here it is. I'm usually not one to write codas based on episodes before they happen since I'm usually way off but it wouldn't leave me alone so here we are lol.

Gripped You Tight

Dean felt drained. It had been an emotionally exhausting year for him. He watched as the sun rose to welcome a new day. He was currently sitting on the hood of the Impala contemplating what to do with his life now. Chuck was gone; he, Sam, Michael, and Jack together they beat him and saved the world. With Chuck gone everyone came back as if nothing had ever happened. Charlie had Stevie back. Sam had Eileen. Who did Dean have? No one… he had no one now other than himself and his car. He had tried to convince himself that Castiel would just suddenly reappear. He checked the Bunker repeatedly but he knew it wouldn’t happen. Cas was taken by the Empty, not by Chuck. He wasn’t just going to suddenly return to him. Now, he couldn’t set foot in his home. Not without his heart being torn out. Castiel was taken from him, in his home. Everything reminded Dean of Cas. Every room held a story, a memory. He couldn’t go in there. Not without reliving the moment over and over again.

He rubbed his eyes as tears fell from them. Sorrow. He had been in constant sorrow since the Empty took Castiel. He sobbed uncontrollably. He needed Sam or someone to talk to. He and Sam had bonded over their mutual loss. He had confessed at long last to his brother that he had feelings for Castiel, but Sam had already knew that. The pain was fresh, new, and yet old. He had lost his one shot at love, at actual love. If only he had realized his feelings for Castiel sooner then maybe none of this would have happened. He sobbed again. Regret filled his heart he just wished he could do something about the pain he felt.

“Dean.”

“Holy shit!’ He exclaimed as Michael suddenly appeared in front of him. “What do you want?” It sounded more hateful than what he meant it to be. Not that he disliked Michael or nothing. He just didn’t expect him to appear before him.

“You… you seem to be in pain. I sensed…” He paused as if searching for the right words. “Your cry for help.”

Dean sniffed. He wiped his face with his sleeves. “Yeah, well, what I need is a drink.” He said humorlessly but he was grateful for some company. Maybe it would keep him from self-destructing.

Michal leaned against the hood of the car. “They are worried about you.” He looked at him. “The others. They know you are in a great deal of pain.” He crossed his arms. “You are grieving for Castiel.” He stated

“Yeah, what of it?” He huffed. He got off the hood of the car. “I mean, yeah I am. He was…” He clenched his fists. “He meant a lot to me then he, just,” His lip trembled. He wasn’t going to cry in front of the archangel. He wasn’t going to. “Man,” he rubbed his eyes again. “I can’t, I can’t do this with you.” He spat.

“I believe I can help you.” He stated ignoring Dean’s outburst

“How? Are you going to erase my memories of Cas?” He thought back to when Castiel erased Lisa’s memories of him. Would Michael do that to him? He didn’t want that. He was in pain but he needed to remember Castiel. To remember his sacrifice to save him.

He shook his head. “No, but we are forming a plan to save Castiel.”

“Save Cas?” A small glimmer of hope rose in Dean. “You can’t… why would you?”

“Come, let’s return to the bunker so we can formulate a plan.”

He looked at the bunker. He shook his head. “I can’t, man, ever since Cas left it…” He shook his head again.

Michael nodded. “I see perhaps you will listen to Sam then.”

“Dean!” Sam called.

Dean turned around to see Sam walk out of the bunker. He smiled. He was happy to see his brother.

“What are you doing out here?” He sounded concerned. His soulful hazel eyes were full of worry. Sam knew that Dean was hanging on by a thread.

“Nothing just having a one-man pity party that Mike got in the middle of.” Dean waved in the general direction of Michael who was gone now. He rolled his eyes. Angels, they certainly loved to make an exit.

Sam immediately wrapped Dean into a big hug. “Dude, you’re starting to scare me. You can’t… you just can’t close yourself off. You haven’t ate or slept since we beat Chuck. Hell, I don’t think you’ve been inside since you… searched for Cas.”

Dean pulled away from him. “I can’t go in there. I go in there and I think of what happened and I can’t.” He started to pace in front of him. “Sam, man, I’ve been thinking about it all day. I think… I think I need to leave.” He glanced at the bunker his home the one he couldn’t stand to be in now.

“Dean, no,” He shook his head. “You can’t leave. This is our home.”

“It’s not, not anymore. Not for me anyway. That was taken from me when I lost Cas. I can’t take the pain, Sam.” He sniffed. “He died because of me. It’s my fault.” He wailed. It was. He knew it was. If only he had noticed it sooner. If only Cas had told him sooner then the Empty couldn’t have held it over him. If only, and if only. He couldn’t fix it now. His angel was gone and everyone else got their happy ending but him.

“We can get him back,” Sam said. “Michael has a plan. We are doing research now on how to get in the empty. Dean, we can save Cas.”

He shook his head. “We can’t, Sam!” He shouted “He’s in the empty. Chuck couldn’t even reach into the empty, what the hell are we going to do, huh?” He shouted. “Look I appreciate what you guys are trying to do, but it ain’t going to work.” He huffed.

“We will find a way, Dean. We will.” He laid his hand on his shoulder. The same on Cas used to save him from Hell. There is a dull ache there reminding him of who he lost. He wants to pull away but he doesn’t. “We did the impossible once already. We beat God, we can get Cas back.”

Dean took Sam’s hand off his shoulder. “No,” he shook his head. “The empty is different. It’s not something we can just walk into and ask for Cas back. If we do get in there, that doesn’t mean we can get Cas back.” He sniffed. “I can’t… I can’t do that to myself, Sammy, I can’t have this hope only for it to get crushed again.” He looked into Sam’s eyes. “I don’t think I can survive it, Sam.”

Sam sniffed. “I know, Dean, we just… we got to try. Cas… he’s family. We all miss him. But we miss you too. We need you. I need you, Dean. Please, come in and help us look for a way to bring him home.”

He looked at the bunker. The once welcoming walls now full of pain held nothing for him. “Sammy.” He shook his head. “I can’t.” he started to cry. “Please don’t make me.”

“Please, Dean, you… you can hide in your room. I’ll bring you food. Just come inside.” He pleaded.

He nodded. “Fine but, fine.” He didn’t want to. He wanted to run away and find a bottle to crawl into. But the pained look on Sam’s face convinced him. They needed each other again. He followed Sam into the bunker. Seeing it brought on more pain. He thought of the two of them running down these stairs on a mission to kill Billie. He thought of how they ran through the halls as she tried to crush Dean’s heart. He thought of Castiel saving him… of him telling him he loved him. He choked back a sob. He stopped halfway down the stairs. “I can’t. I can’t do this.” Castiel wasn’t here. He was never going to return to their home. He felt strong hands on his shoulders.

“It’s going to be okay, Dean,” Sam said softly. “I got you.”

Eileen was waiting for him at the bottom. She held out her hand to him. “Come on, Dean.”

He looked at her then at Sam. He felt his heart shatter again. Here were Sam and Eileen who should be out living it up and they are trying to help piece him back together. He was ruining their lives like he ruined everyone else’s. He went to back away, to run up the stairs and leave, but Sam nudged him on the shoulder. Sam didn’t want him to leave. Dean nodded as he took her hand. He was going to be strong. He had to be. Between the two of them, they led him to his room. Eileen signed something to Sam then left. Dean realized he was going to have to learn sign language someday.

“Okay, you hang tight. I’m going to make you a sandwich, okay?” Sam said as he opened the bedroom door.

Dean frowned at him. “Why?”

“You need to eat and you need some sleep. We will worry about the research later.”

“No, we do it now. I can’t just sit around and wait.”

“At least eat first and get on some fresh clothes.”

“Fine.” He snipped. Sam gave him a small sad smile then left. Dean closed the door and sat on the bed. In his room, the pain wasn’t so bad. He laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He rolled over and opened the bedside table. He shouldn’t do this it would only make the pain worse. He pulled out a photo of him and Castiel. He smiled at it.

He didn’t have a lot of pictures of the two of them. But this one was special. Sam took it when they were in Dodge City. Right before everything went sideways. The two of them in their cowboy outfits. Castiel looking annoyed, cowboy hat perched on his head. He sighed. “I love you too.” He said to the picture. He just wished he got to say it to him in person. He laid the photo down on the table then got out some new clothes. He took off his jacket that still had Castiel’s bloody handprint on it. He laid his hand over the now dried blood. He could never wash it. It was the only part he had left of Cas. He folded it then laid on his chair. There was a knock at his door which startled him out of his thoughts “Come in.”

Much to his surprise, Michael walked in. He nodded. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean flinched. It was weird hearing that familiar greeting out of someone else’s mouth. “Since when do angels knock?” He asked deflecting the moment with humor and sarcasm.

Michael shrugged. “Did Castiel not knock?” He folded his arms and stared at Dean as if looking through him.

“So what about this grand plan to save Cas?” He leaned on his dresser.

“We go into the Empty and retrieve him.” He said as if he was describing a grocery store run. Like it was easy to get into the empty.

He huffed rolling his eyes. “Just walk on in there, huh? Sounds great since Chuck couldn’t even get in the empty.”

“But Death can.” Michael said with a smirk like he had all the answers.

“Death? Did you forget that Billie died when Castiel got snatched?”

“The new Death. This new Death doesn’t hold a grudge against you and they are willing to help.”

“Are you, are you serious right now?” A flicker of hope lit up. Did Michael mean it? Was it actually that easy? His heart pounded in his chest. He could save Cas.

He nodded. “I went to talk to her. Since I am acting in God’s place again, I just asked her if she could send you to the Empty.”

“Well, can she?”

“She can but, we need to prepare. We don’t know how much Jack’s explosion weakened it and it’s going to be angry about that.”

“What can we do?” They could do this. Hope blossomed in his heart. He was going to save Cas.

He frowned. “A spell perhaps. Maybe some warding… I… I think it’s going to be dangerous but it’s up to you.”

“Yeah, I want to save him.” He frowned at Michael. “Cas is family and that means something to me.” He looked at him. “Why are you helping me though? I figured you’d be running up to heaven and doing whatever it is that you do.”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know.” He laughed humorlessly. “Adam you see, he felt bad for you said you looked all sad and depressed.” He sighed. “And I agree. Sure your actions caused me to be in the Cage for so many, many, years but… it was also a blessing.” He smiled faintly. “I got to meet Adam I got to see… how humanity is.”

Dean scoffed. “So you took an extended vacation and found yourself?”

“If you want to put it in simple terms then yes.” He nodded to the door. “Sam is looking for a spell. Once we find one we go.”

“What? We? Why We?”

“We don’t know the Empty’s power. Plus, you might need help.” He opened the door.

“Wait.” Dean snipped. “I ain’t going anywhere with you, not unless you give me the full story. Why help me?”

Michael shrugged again. Hard to believe one of the most powerful archangels was so flippant about everything. Maybe being in the cage calmed him down. Maybe it was Adam. “I won’t lie to you. I’m not completely doing this for you. You see there aren’t that many angels left in heaven. With Castiel gone our numbers are very low now. I am strong. But I can’t make angels. I know Jack made a few but we need more than a few to run heaven. Heaven is barely hanging on. If another one of us dies then that’s it. Heaven will fall.”

Dean scoffed. “I knew it! There’s an angle with you, Mike. Here I thought you might actually give a damn and you want to do is rebuild heaven’s army.”

“No!” His voice was stern. “I have made it clear I have no interest in forming an army or even running heaven. I like,” He chuckled. “I like freedom. Seeing Earth, spending time with Adam, and eating greasy fast foods, I see why… after all these millennia why Gabriel and Castiel fell in love with Earth. Why others have done it.” He shook his head. “I don’t want an army, Dean. They can stay on Earth for all I care or return to heaven. I just need the celestial power or else heaven will fail and if even fails then souls will walk the Earth again and frankly we don’t need another apocalypse. Not again, not ever again.”

He believed him. By God did he believe Michael. He genuinely didn’t want the world to end again. He nodded. “I’m sorry, just after getting my chain yanked by many higher powers I…”

“No, I understand. If I was you I’d be leary as well. What do you say, Dean? Want to make a trip to the Empty?”

“Yes, let’s go get Cas back.”

He nodded. The two of them headed to the library. “Did you get the spell ready?” He asked Sam

Sam nodded. He looked at Dean his eyes looked worried. “Yeah, I found one in Rowena’s books. It should protect you.”

“Should? I don’t like the sound of should.” Dean shook his head. He didn’t want to go to the Empty and be killed by it… especially in front of Cas. If this thing was as vindictive as they all said there was a good chance that could happen.

“It’s probably weaker,” Jack said as he sat down a book. “I think I hurt it when Billie sent me there when I was about to explode.”

Dean winced. No matter how many times he heard it he still couldn’t believe what the boy had done. And he encouraged it. He was an ass. “Jack, I,”

Jack shook his head. “It’s okay, Dean, I forgive you.” He smiled a sweet smile that Dean didn’t deserve. “Just please, bring back Castiel. I miss him.”

He nodded fighting back the sting of tears. “I will, buddy I will.”

Sam looked around the group. “Are we ready?”

“Yeah, let’s do this,” Dean said and everyone agreed.

Sam got up with a bowel. He walked around Dean chanting something in a langue he didn’t know. There was an eerie glow that surrounded him and Michael. “Okay,” He said the bowel down. “That should do it.”

A small woman Dean hadn’t seen before stepped forward. “Hello,” She nodded at Dean. “I’m uh, Jennifer. I am apparently Death now.” She shrugged. “I didn’t expect it but I was the last reaper to die when the Empty was on a rampage.” She sighed. “I am going to give you about ten minutes. If you aren’t back by then I’m going to pull you back to this world. We only have one chance… I… I don’t want the Empty coming after me.” She shuddered

“If this goes right you won’t have to worry about that happening again.” Michael said

“I hope so.” She chuckled nervously. “Okay, here we go.”

Dean felt like the world spun around him. One minute he was in the bunker then the next pure black inky darkness. He gasped it took the wind out of him. “Jesus.” He breathed. “That wasn’t fun.”

“Look sharp, Dean.” Michael ordered

He glared at him. He opened his mouth to insult him when he heard a pained moan in the distance.

“Noise, I hate the noise. So loud.” 

Dean blinked. Sitting in a chair was Meg. “Meg?” He asked.

“No,” Michael said. “That’s the Empty.”

“What?”

Not-Meg jerked her head up. “Who’s there!” She demanded. She held her head her blonde hair stuck out everywhere. “I want silence!” She held up her hand and clenched her fist.

Dean closed his eyes and held his breath but nothing happened. He opened one eye. “Sammy’s spell work.” He gasped

The Empty glared at him. “Why doesn’t it work?” She tried again. She screamed in frustration. “It’s the noise I know it is.” She slumped in her chair. “I just want to sleep. But no Billie tricked me. Then she sent that damn kid in here and he made all that noise.”

Dean glanced at Michael. “Guess she likes it quiet.”

Michael rolled his eyes at Dean. “Empty,” He addressed the entity.

Her head jerked up. “What?” She shouted. “Who are you and why are you here?” She jumped out of her chair snarling at them.

“We came to negotiate.”

She rolled her eyes. “This again, I just want to sleep!” She screamed

“I can help you get back to sleep.” Michael said.

She looked at him. “You can?” She almost sounded excited then her face fell. “Another lie is it? What do you want from me? More false promises, and lies!”

“No, not a lie, I am Michael the archangel and I am strong enough to put you back to sleep.”

She stopped stomping around. Her dark eyes were wide. “Really?” She shook her head. “What do you want from me then?”

“The angels. All the angels who came here.”

Dean looked at him. “What about Lucifer we can’t,”

Michael held up his hand. “I want all the angels.”

She stood there. She looked around. “You want them?” She shrugged. “How do I know you will hold up your end?”

“If I don’t you can come to heaven and kill me.”

She grinned. “I get to sleep.” She laughed. “Take them. I don’t care I just want to sleep. They are so noisy now. Ever since that kid…” She laughed. “Please take them. Let me have silence again.” She snapped her fingers. The darkness filled with light.

“Close your eyes!” Michael shouted at Dean.

Dean did just that but the light was so bright he could see it from behind his eyes. Once it died down he opened them again.

“I said all of them.” Michael hissed at the Empty. “If you don’t I won’t put you to sleep.”

The Empty groaned. “But me and Castiel had a deal. He became happy then I get to have him for all eternity.” She smiled at Dean. “And he became happy.”

Dean bristled at the taunt. He opened his mouth to deal off the Empty but Michael cut him off.

“Give us back Castiel now or I leave with you awake.” He threatened

“We had a deal.” She hissed

“All the angels, that was the deal. Take it or leave it.”

“Fine! Take him.” She snapped her fingers. The air changed and Castiel was standing before Dean.

“Cas!” Dean shouted. He grabbed him by the shoulders as he slumped forward.

Michael looked at the Empty. “What is wrong with him?”

“I just got him to sleep!” She snapped. “He had been crying since he got here it’s going to take him a minute or two to get right. Now, put me to sleep, please.”

Michael laid his hand on her forehead and with a loud thud, the Empty hit the floor and melted into a pile of black ooze.

“Did you, did you put her to sleep?” Dean asked

He nodded. “It was draining but I did it. It’s asleep now and hopefully stays that way.” He looked at them. “We are ready, Jennifer!” he called out

The small reaper appeared before them. She looked at the lump of ooze. “Is it asleep?”

“Just get us out of here.” Dean hissed

She nodded and with a wave of her hand the room spun. Dean hit the ground hard. Castiel landed on top of him in a heap. The reaper disappeared after that. Dean had a feeling she was pretty much going to keep to herself.

Michael was standing beside him. “Castiel looks… at peace.”

Dean looked down at Castiel who he was cradling in his arms now. Castiel had a smile on his face similar to how he looked when the Empty took him. Emotions hit him like a wave. “Cas.” He said softly stroking his cheek. He didn’t think he would ever get to see him again. He looked up at Michael. “Thank you.”

He nodded. “You are welcome.” He knelt and laid his hand on Castiel’s face. There was a brief glow of light. “He will be fine. It may take him a bit but he will be fine.” Then Michael vanished.

“Cas,” Dean said again as he cradled him. He hoped he would wake up. He heard a rush of footsteps.

“Did it work?” Sam anxiously asked as he rounded the corner.

Dean nodded. He felt a brief bit of embarrassment from his brother seeing him cradling Castiel like this but it felt good. “Yeah, Sammy, we got him back.”

Sam chuckled. “Good.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m glad… I’m happy for you, Dean.”

He smiled and looked down at Castiel’s peaceful face. “Me too, Sam.” He sniffed

“We should get him to a bed.” Jack offered the young man fighting his tears.

Between the three of them, they got Castiel up and moved him to Dean’s room. They laid him in the bed.

“When he wakes up we should celebrate.” Dean offered. “Proper celebration. We brought everyone home.” He smiled

Sam smiled. “Yeah,” he sniffed

“Sammy,” Dean started

“No, I just, it’s been a rough few days…” He rubbed his eyes. “Seeing you smile again,” He rubbed his eyes. “I was worried I would never see it again.”

“Well, here I am. Happy. I got Cas back.”

“Yeah, well, we should go leave you two alone for a bit. Let you guys work some things out.”

Sam and Jack left the room though Sam pretty much had to drag Jack out of the room.

Dean looked down at Castiel. He sighed easing himself out of his shoes and laid down beside him. He was tired. It was a long week. Hell, it was a long year. He laid there listening to Castiel breath happy to hear it when suddenly Castiel bolted upright. “Whoa!”

“Where am I?” Castiel asked in a panic. He looked around then began to calm down. He looked over at Dean. “Dean?” He breathed.

“Hi, Cas.”

He shook his head. “I must be dreaming.”

“No, no, I… we got you from the Empty.” He laid his hand on Castiel’s arm to ground him.

“How? I made a deal.” He calmed down some, looking at Dean in disbelief.

“Michael offered it a better deal. He gave it sleep.”

He laughed. “I can’t believe it. Michael helped free me?”

“Well, all of the angels but yeah.” He rubbed Castiel’s arm

He smiled. “I… I’m glad to be back.” He sighed softly then his eyes grew wide. “Oh, Dean, I am sorry I didn’t…”

“Sorry? What are you sorry for?” He frowned in confusion. Castiel had nothing to apologize for. At least not at this moment. He wasn’t happy that he kept the deal a secret but he could bury that deep in his heart. He had his angel back and that’s all that mattered to him.

“I… I probably made things awkward between us… I can understand if you are upset…” He started to get out of the bed

Dean grabbed his hand. “No, no, wait. You… you don’t have to go.”

Castiel stared at their hands interlaced. His eye focused on them, he sighed then got back in the bed with Dean.

“We are going to talk about this.” He couldn’t believe he wanted to talk about feelings. He was turning into a Sam. “You said that,” he cleared his throat. “You wanted what you can’t have. Could you explain it, please? There was so much to process I couldn’t…” he trailed off. He wasn’t going to make a fool of himself. He wanted concrete information.

“I thought I was obvious.” He sighed. “I guess humans are denser than I thought.” He teased. “I want you, Dean, I have for a long time. I have wanted you and I didn’t understand it at first. When I made the deal I couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to make me that happy but it… telling you that I loved you.” He smiled. Dean loved that smile it melted his heart. “I meant it, Dean. I have loved you for a long time. I… just never thought I could have it.”

“Why?”

He tilted his head. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“No.” He sighed. “Look if this is about you… worrying that I’m not into guys then,”

“Dean, your sexual preferences aren’t as hidden as you think. I noticed a while ago that you… liked both.” He smiled softly. “I just… didn’t think it applied to me. You… you made it very clear that you viewed me as family, as a friend, as a brother. I had thought perhaps you weren’t interested in pursuing a relationship with me.”

“You thought I wasn’t interested?” Dean laughed until he noticed the hurt look on Castiel’s face. He cupped his face. “Cas, I thought you weren’t interested. I got nothing to offer. You’re a freaking angel and what am I? A drunk with anger issues, that’s what. I noticed this for a while. I think everyone noticed this between you and me. I… didn’t think I deserve your love.”

“You deserve it, Dean. I want you to see yourself as the man I see you.” His eyes glistened with tears. “You’re wonderful. I will do anything to protect you, I will do anything so you can see that you deserve love.”

“Cas,” He sighed. “I can’t believe we have been dancing around this for so long… thinking the other one wasn’t interested.” He chuckled. “When we could have been together.”

“It’s in the past now. We have each other now.” His eyes darted to his lips. “I wanted to do something before the Empty took me.” He smiled. “May I kiss you, Dean?”

“I’d be pissed if you didn’t.”

He chuckled. He brought his lips to Dean’s. Dean felt like the world exploded around him as their lips met. Kissing Castiel was like a religious experience. He felt like he was floating. His heart pounded in his chest as he chased after Castiel’s lips.

Dean broke the kiss for a minute. “I… I want you to know that I suck at words and expressing my feelings.”

“I know.”

“But I…” He swallowed. He was going to say it he was going to make himself say it. “I love you too, Cas.” A wave of relief washed over him. He actually said it. He finally told him he loved him. He chuckled as tears threatened to come forth. He felt warm, safe, and loved. These were new feelings for him.

Castiel captured his lips again. This time it was more fevered, more urgent. Dean groaned as Castiel all but pushed him into the bed. He broke the kiss causing Dean to whine. “I love you, Dean Winchester.” His lips lightly touched Dean’s as he talked. He rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I love you.” He repeated into his neck.

Dean wrapped his arms around his angel, pulling him close. He never felt this much pure love from another person before. He had thought he was in love with Lisa and Cassie but he could see now that this was different, that THIS was love. Devotion in its purest form. Dean wanted to weep from the beauty of it. “I don’t deserve this.” He murmured.

“No,” Castiel said into his shoulder. “You deserve it all and then some more.” He looked into his eyes. His big blue eyes that Dean always admired, even before he realized he had feelings for him, was full of love. “You deserve the world, Dean.”

His heart melted. “Wow, Cas, you know you really know how to get to a guy’s heart.”

He chuckled. “I watched a lot of romance movies.”

Dean laughed then pulled the angel closer to him. “Is that what it is? Nice to know I’ll be getting Hallmark approved romance.” He teased

Castiel kissed his cheek. “I’ll give you whatever romance you want, Dean. As long as you feel loved.”

He sighed contently. “I do, Cas, I feel so much freaking love right now.”

“It’s… it’s not too much, is it? I know you are a little reserved when it comes to emotions.”

That was a huge understatement. Dean had always been withdrawn from his emotions. He had learned they were a weakness, he never knew how to process them properly. He was grateful that Castiel had given him an emotional out but he didn’t want to use it. “It’s not too much, Cas.” He kissed him on the lips. “But if it does I’ll let you know.”

He smiled faintly. “I’m glad that you are using your words, Dean.”

“Shut up.” He teased

Castiel yawned softly. “I apologize. It seems my grace isn’t fully recovered yet.”

Dean pulled him into his shoulder again. “It’s okay. Get yourself some sleep, Cas. I’ll watch over you.”

“I thought you said that watching people sleep was creepy.” He mumbled into Dean’s shoulder trying to hold onto the last slivers of alertness.

“It’s different when I do it.”

“Hypocrite.” He mumbled. His breathing evened out as his eyes drifted shut.

Dean watched him as he slept. He was excited. All the new experiences that awaited them as they crossed from the realm of friends to lovers. It was amazing. He couldn’t believe he was going to experience this with Castiel. He smiled. He couldn’t wait. He nuzzled into the pillow as sleep started to pull him in. He took Castiel’s hand as he drifted away. He just wanted to be sure he would be there when he woke up and then they would start their lives together as a couple.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it.


End file.
